"Mistymay" Streamate - As a matter of luck.

My hair felt like it was on fire as I pulled myself up from the couch. I ran into my bedroom dressed in peach jail robes. He was nowhere in sight. I tried to roll over but found my legs too wobbly. I tried to roll forward. All of a sudden I heard a loud CRACK. I looked up to see Him standing over me. The sting of the blow was worse than I ever remembered. My eyes flew open. I started to cry. I started to get up out of my clothes. I started to sob uncontrollably. I wanted Him to be angry with me. I wanted Him to go home and whip me. He made me feel like I was begging for Him to do anything He wanted. I realized I would pay the price many times throughout the night. I was so frightened.

I had never done anything in my life. And to me it was a play thing. I finished crying and got up the courage to go into the hall to wait for Him. When the door opened there was a strong strong hand on my shoulder pulling me toward Him. It scared me. I was His student. He was my Master. No one else had ever done this to me. It terrified me because I didn't know if I could do this. I quietly started to apologize to Master. I wanted to say I loved Him but I didn't know how to say it. I was afraid of what He might think. I looked at Him and saw the hurt in His eyes. I knew I had hurt Him. I apologized to Him for the hurt but still I was afraid. I opened my mouth to apologize and thought He was angry.

I knew I caused it. The thought of me hurt Him made me cry silently. I knew it was my responsibility as my Master's student to always keep His word. I tried to make myself small and close off to Him. To feel that He was the Master, to try to make Him whole. I thought I wanted to take all of Him. I didn't want to take anything away from Him. I didn't want to lose control. I didn't want to disappoint Him. As I started to apologize and try to be good with Him, I was afraid. I knew something terrible was going to happen to me but I didn't know how bad or how soon. I tried to hide the tears by smiling at Him. I knew that look. I knew the look that was set upon my face when I was overcome with fear. I knew the look that my Master had for me. I was afraid. I felt Him move..